What Could Have Been
by Bell Tolls
Summary: What if Carla never had a miscarriage? How different her life could have been. (The story begins when she's 6 months pregnant, Peter is locked up awaiting trial for Tina's murder, and Rob and Tracy are planning their wedding.)
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1:**

"Carla!"

"Hi Ken, you alright?" she stopped outside of the factory, waiting for Ken to cross the road.

"Yes thank you. I'm glad I've caught you, I want to invite you around to ours on Saturday - we're throwing a party for Amy's birthday."

"Oh, uh, that's really kind of you ken but I'm not sure…"

"Too many memories?"

Carla looked awkwardly to the ground, answering his question.

"I understand. But please remember you're a part of our family now regardless of what Peter put you through."

"Sorry, I've got to go," Carla said awkwardly after nodding her head.

"Ok, take care," Ken sighed as he watched her hurry into the factory. He would always love his son but he also hated him for what he was putting Carla through. He just hoped that she was looking after herself, for her sake and for the sake of his unborn grandchild.

* * *

"8 hours of my life I'll never get back," Steve groaned as he traipsed through the door of the Rovers, his arms laden with shopping bags.

"Oh stop being so dramatic" Michelle hit his arm playfully, following him in.

"Hi love," she greeted Carla who was standing at the bar.

"Hi. Someone's been busy," she commented at all the bags.

"We've been shopping for Amy's birthday," Michelle explained.

"Right," Carla looked back down at her glass.

"Hey what's wrong?" Michelle frowned and rested her hand on Carla's shoulder.

"Ken invited me to the party."

"That's lovely..." Michelle's smile quickly disappeared, "or not?"

"I don't know," Carla replied with a defeated shrug.

"Come on, let's get a seat. You shouldn't be standing at the bar anyway in your condition."

"For god sake Chelle, I'm pregnant, not an invalid," Carla told her firmly, fed up of being treated like glass.

"Another orange juice for Carla and a glass of white for me, ta love," Michelle told Steve, ignoring Carla's protests.

"Eh, what about all this?" Steve asked holding up all the bags.

"Just put them through the back, we can sort it later," Michelle told him rolling her eyes as she ushered Carla to a booth.

"Seriously, he can't do anything on his own! All part of his charm is what I tell myself."

Carla attempted to smile at Michelle's comment as they sat down across from each other.

"So come on, what's up?"

"He said that I'm family," Carla told Michelle, looking down at the table and fiddling with the frayed edge of the coaster.

"Ken?" Michelle asked to which Carla nodded. "Well they are your family."

"No Chelle they're not my family," Carla replied getting annoyed. "They're Peter's family."

Michelle sat forward and rested her hand on Carla's arm.

"Look at me," Carla raised her eyes. "You're the mother of their grandchild, Simon's brother or sister, Amy's cousin...Tracy's niece or nephew..."

"Oh great," Carla said sarcastically at Michelle's final point.

"There you go," Steve put their drinks on table and looked questioningly at Michelle.

"Thanks love," she gave him a slight nod of reassurance. "All I'm trying to say is that they are you and your baby's family. And Rob's part of that family too. And me and Steve if you think about it."

Carla's gaze had dropped back down to stare at the table.

"Car look at me."

She reluctantly lifted her head to look back to her best friend.

"All people that love and care about you. That is what makes a family. How about you come to the party, see how you feel. If it's too much then I'll take you home."

"I'll think about it."

"Good," Michelle patted her hand lovingly and handed Carla her juice.

"So what shops were you dragging Steve around?" Carla asked, quickly grabbing the chance to change the subject.

"All of them. I think it was build a bear that tipped him over the edge."

"Build a what?"

Michelle laughed at Carla's incredulous look.

"A bear. Basically you pick the outer lining of a teddy bear, then they pump it full of stuffing and you choose an outfit."

"Sounds like a nightmare to me," Carla said screwing up her face. "Watching teddy bears being stuffed then dressed in human clothes...ready to kill us all in our sleep," she raised her eyebrows and smirked at Michelle.

"Great, thanks for that!" Michelle responded sarcastically with a laugh. "I'm the one that has to sleep in the same house as it!" she smiled and shook her head at Carla. "Hey, you OK?" Michelle asked in concern, noticing a shadow suddenly cross Carla's eyes.

"It's nothing."

Michelle remained silent letting Carla decide whether she wanted to tell her. Carla took a sip of juice before sighing and sitting back.

"Just after I told peter I was pregnant I was shopping in town and somehow ended up buying this little white fluffy teddy bear. I couldn't believe it, me buying a teddy. But now…" she shrugged and took another mouthful of juice.

"You bought the bear for your baby, that hasn't changed."

"Maybe."

"No Car, definitely."

"Talking about shopping I should get Amy something."

"You're going to come then?" Michelle asked brightly.

"I've got nothing to lose," Carla said with a shrug.

"I'm glad," Michelle smiled and squeezed Carla's hand lovingly. "Right, how about you and me, meal at the bistro, my treat."

"Thanks but I'm completely wiped, think I'm just going to veg out in front of the TV and have an early night."

"You sure?"

"Yeah."

"Don't you want to finish your drink?" Michelle asked as Carla suddenly started to gather her coat and bag.

"I'd just like to go home."

"OK, ring me if you need anything. And I mean anything." Michelle said, as they both stood up.

"I will," Carla gave Michelle a kiss on the cheek. "Love you."

"Love you," Michelle repeated as Carla's hand slipped out of hers. She watched her best friend leave, and sighed as the pub door swung shut behind her.

"You OK?" Steve leant beside her on the other side of the bar.

"Yeah, just a bit worried about Carla."

"She'll be fine, tough is Carla "

"But she's not though Steve, that's the problem. You don't know her like I do. 90% of it is front and I can see right through it."

"She's got lots of support though you, Ken and Deidre, Rob, Roy."

"I know that, I just wish she did too. Or accepts that she does. Having real solid support is pretty much a foreign concept to Carla."

* * *

Carla stopped in the street and looked up at the flat above Barlow's Buys. Some of her best and worst memories happened within those walls. The hours they'd spent kissing and cuddling on the sofa, shadowed forever by the hours of drinking, lies and arguments. She shivered and wrapped her arm around her stomach, feeling her baby kick as though it could sense the emotions that were wreaking havoc with her sanity.

"Carla? Carla?" he put his hand on her shoulder but quickly removed it when she jumped.

"Oh god, Roy, you scared me," she clutched her chest, feeling her heart beating rapidly.

"I'm sorry I didn't mean to startle you."

"It's fine. I was in my own world, I should pay more attention," she laughed fakely.

"Are you going home?"

"Yeah, just going to have a quiet night in."

"Would you like some company?"

"No ta, I'll be ok."

"It's just you look like you've got the weight of the world on your shoulders, I thought you might want to offload it."

"Thanks but I think if I start I'll never stop."

"I have no plans."

Carla looked into his soft expression.

"Yeah OK, that would be nice."

Roy awkwardly held his arm out. Carla smiled and linked her arm with his.

* * *

"Do you want a brew?" Carla asked as she dropped her handbag on the floor and pulled her coat off.

"You sit down, I'll make it."

"Don't be silly, you're the guest here."

"And you are almost 6 months pregnant and should be taking better care of yourself," Roy told her firmly, positioning himself between Carla and the kitchen.

"Ok, ok," Carla raised her hands in defeat and walked across the room slowly sinking onto the couch. She subconsciously sighed deeply and rested her hand on her pregnant stomach.

Roy watched and frowned in concern for his friend before busying himself making the tea.

* * *

"This is a lovely place," Roy commented making small talk, looking around the flat Carla now lived in in Victoria Court.

"Yeah," Carla nodded and glanced around. "Built by my murdering ex-husband, but you can't be picky in the property market these days. One of my murdering ex-husbands I should say. I'm sorry," she added on the end noticing Roy look awkwardly away. They had grown close over the months since Hayley had passed away but he still wasn't quite tuned into Carla's dry and dark sense of humour and sarcasm.

"Don't apologise, you need to get everything off your chest," Roy reassured her. Whether he fully understood her didn't matter. What mattered was that he was there, right by her side.

"I've been thinking a lot about the past," Carla looked down at her mug of tea.

"It's the future you should be focussing on," Roy reminded her.

"Yeah I know, but every time I try, I just get sucked back into all the reminders of what has happened. I love this baby I really do. It's the only thing in my life worth getting up for in the morning. But every hour of every day it's also a reminder of Peter and the feelings of hatred and rejection that he has left me with." Carla wrapped her arm tightly around her stomach, trying to protect her unborn baby from the dejection she was feeling.

"Your baby came from a relationship with true meaning. I am not condoning his recent actions but I do believe that Peter truly loved you and I know that you loved him. It is those memories that are important."

Carla nodded, her eyes welling up.

"But that's almost worse. I think of the life I could have had, the life I was planning for before…" She shook her head and pressed her fingers against her screwed up eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm really not helping am I," Roy said awkwardly.

"You are," Carla opened her eyes and quickly wiped her eyes to stop the tears that threatened to spill down her cheeks. She finally looking up at Roy. "Apart from Chelle and Rob you are the only other person in the world who I can open up to, whose company I feel safe in." Carla reached out her hand. He hesitated for a few seconds before lifting his arm and resting his hand in hers.

"In that case, I am always here whenever you need."

"Thank-you," Carla nodded in appreciation and pulled her hand away placing it back on her lap.

"Hayley was the making of me, and I think this baby will be the making of you."

"Or the breaking."

"I don't believe that. You have many people here to support you, we all care very much about you."

"Maybe. But you all have your own lives."

"There's no maybe about it, you are not on your own," he told her firmly.

"Not out there, but what about in here ey?" she glanced around the flat. "I sit here in silence, night in night out. I lie in bed, just waiting for arms to wrap around me, to make me feel safe, to feel wanted. Not that I need to explain that to you. How do you do it? How do you cope without her?"

"I had plenty of practice. Before I met Hayley I was used to being alone."

"I'm not though. I've always had someone. Paul, Liam, Tony, Trev, Frank, Peter. Granted none of them stuck around…"

"You've got to focus on what is good in your life. Your friends, your work, your baby."

"So basically you're saying snap out of it."

"Uh...I didn't mean to offend you."

"No, I'm not offended. I just... how will I get through this?" her glistening eyes finally looked into Roy's.

"You're a strong, resilient woman. You mustn't convince yourself otherwise. And you mustn't let the actions of certain others convince you otherwise."

"Easier said than done."

"True of much of life. That doesn't mean you shouldn't try."

Carla nodded her head slightly and held her mug of tea close to her body, revelling in its warmth.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed! It's my first story so I had no idea if it was going to be any good! Sorry it took me longer than I'd hoped to get the second chapter uploaded. This will be a multi-chapter fic so there will be drama to come.

And for clarification Rob is guilty but Peter was arrested as in the show - the trial hasn't taken place yet.

 **Chapter 2:**

"Carla, lovely to see you," Ken greeted her with a genuine smile. "Come in," he held the door open and Carla stepped inside apprehensively before making her way to the back room from where she could hear the sound of laughter and chatting voices.

"What's she doing here?!"

"Tracy!" Deirdre exclaimed.

"Nice to see you too Tracy," Carla threw her a fake smile.

"I invited her, she's family," Ken said sternly. "Here let me take your coat. Take no notice of her."

"Don't worry I never do," Carla replied with a wry smile, handing over her coat.

"I'm glad you've come."

"Well, I'm not going to let what Peter did to me ruin this baby's chance of being surrounded by a loving family. I'm going to make sure it has the childhood I never got."

"Pleased to hear it," he smiled and gave her arm a gentle squeeze.

"What are you two whispering about?" Deirdre shouted tipsily from across the room.

"Hiya Deirdre," Carla gave her a small wave, smiling at her merriment.

"Hey sis," Rob appeared at her side.

"Oh hi," Carla replied as he gave her a kiss on the cheek and wrapped his arm around her shoulder.

"Come on," he guided her further into the busy room.

"1 sec," She moved away from Rob and crossed the room, seeing Amy.

"Happy birthday."

Amy turned around and looked up. Something stirred inside Carla and she stared at the girl for a couple of seconds.

"Uh, here's a little something from me," she said slightly flustered as she handed over the wrapped gift.

"Thank you," Amy smiled up at Carla.

"You are very welcome."

"Put it over here sweetheart, we're going to open presents later," Steve told his daughter. "Thanks, it's good to see you."

"Yeah," Carla nodded, watching Amy.

"Hi darling."

"Hi Chelle."

"Looking into your future?" Michelle asked her quietly, raising an eyebrow knowingly.

"You what?" Carla looked away and acted ignorant but she knew exactly what Michelle was talking about.

"That look that crossed your face when Amy looked up at you."

"That obvious was it?"

"To me yeah, but I know you inside out. Even with Tracy Barlow as a mother Amy is a great kid, you can have all this and more."

"Oh Carla, I haven't offered you anything to drink," Deirdre called over to her. "What would you like? I've got cranberry, orange, lemonade..."

"Large glass of red."

"Tracy for goodness sake!"

"Funny," Carla said sarcastically. "Orange please Deirdre."

"There you go love," Deirdre made her way across the room and handed the glass over. "So how're you doing?" she asked Carla.

"Oh you know, fine."

"What she means is that she is 6 months pregnant yet still manages to look immaculate and run a business single handed," Michelle told Deirdre.

"I think that was a compliment?" Carla frowned.

"It was," Michelle laughed.

"Well, just remember me and ken are here if you need any help. Or just an ear to bend about the trials and tribulations of being pregnant. Oh the tales I could tell you!" Deirdre exclaimed dramatically.

"Hmm," Carla raised her eyebrows as she took a mouthful of juice.

"Honestly I know them all! I mean hours of labour then there's breast feeding and..."

"Deirdre do you mind!" Liz exclaimed, overhearing their conversation.

"What? It's best she knows!"

"Rob, I think Carla needs rescuing!" Liz called to him.

"Oh aye, what from?" he asked, joining them.

"From Deirdre."

"Cheek! Really though anything you need come to me any time," Deirdre told Carla.

"Thanks, that means a lot," Carla said sincerely.

"Right, drink away everyone, I need to go help ken with the cake."

"Hey, you ok?" Michelle asked Carla who looked a million miles away.

"Yeah, just trying to figure out how someone as cruel and manipulative came from someone so kind."

"You're nothing like your mother either," Michelle pointed out.

"Really? I wouldn't be so sure."

Michelle sighed and shook her head.

"Don't," she simply said to Carla and wrapped her arm around her shoulder. It was a conversation they had had multiple times and Michelle wasn't in the right mind-set to have it again.

* * *

"Chelle could you...oh hi Leanne," Carla stopped, almost walking right into her as she came into the back room.

"This must be so nice for you both," Tracy sniggered.

"Get a life Tracy," Leanne told her bluntly.

"Whatever," she scoffed and walked away.

"You took the words right out of my mouth," Carla said with a smirk.

"So how're you doing with you know...everything?" Leanne asked awkwardly.

"Pass," Carla shook her head.

10 seconds of silence clouded over them, though it felt more like 10 hours.

"Look Carla, we're never going to be best mates again but Simon is really excited about the baby and I know what it's like to be hurt by Peter Barlow..."

Carla took a mouthful of juice, attempting to cover her embarrassment at this comment as she was the reason behind that hurt.

"…so I'd like to bury all the misery of the past few years, move on."

"Yeah, I'd really like that, thank you."

Leanne gave her a small smile and turned to walk away before stopping and looking back at Carla.

"Don't let him ruin you and your baby's future."

"Talking of which," Carla wrapped her arm across her bump and winced slightly.

"You OK, here's a chair," Leanne quickly pulled a dining chair over.

"Yeah I'm OK thanks, baby is just a bit restless today," Carla felt guilty as a flash of envy crossed Leanne's face. "I'm sorry I don't mean to rub it in that I'm pregnant."

"No I know."

"When are you going find out if it's a girl or a boy?" Simon asked eagerly, suddenly appearing at their side.

"Oh uh I'm not sure."

"Well I want a brother," he stated matter of factly.

"I hope it's a girl," Amy piped up, joining them. "Then I can do her hair and her make-up and paint her nails."

"Uh no way! I want to play video games and football," Simon retaliated.

"Girls can play football too," Liz reminded him.

"Carla can't."

"Oi cheeky!" Carla playfully pushed him away.

Across the room Tracy stood glaring at them, her arms folded.

"Is Carla and that flaming baby all anyone can talk about?!"

"Just leave it Trace," Rob told her. "Amy's having fun."

* * *

Michelle glanced over and smiled when she noticed that Carla's hand was resting on her pregnant stomach as everyone sang happy birthday. But there was something in Carla's eyes that unsettled Michelle.

* * *

"Do you want a piece of cake?" Michelle held out the plate.

"Oh, no ta," Carla replied.

"You ok?" Michelle asked her quietly not wanting to draw attention.

"Yeah. It's just difficult." Carla glanced around the room and let out a shaky breath. "I shouldn't be doing this on my own."

"You're not on your own."

"You know what I mean."

"Come on, let's go through to the front room for a bit," Michelle suggested noticing the tears welling up in Carla's eyes. She lifted her arm out and Carla held onto it, pulling herself up from the chair. Rob frowned when he noticed the two women slip out of the room.

* * *

"God, these damn hormones," Carla said with a quiet laugh as she wiped tears off her cheeks.

"Are you sure it's just hormones?" Michelle questioned as Carla slowly sat down on the edge of Amy's bed.

"Come on Car, just talk to me," she sat down beside her best friend.

"I'm scared Chelle," Carla turned her head and looked into Michelle's eyes. "Terrified actually."

"That's completely normal, it's OK to be scared darling," Michelle lovingly squeezed Carla's shoulder.

"No, no it's not! I don't have the time to be scared! Or the energy!" she suddenly stood up and raked her hands through her hair.

"I told you to tell me if you were struggling," Michelle sighed.

"I'm not, I'm fine" Carla said in frustration, annoyed at herself for letting her guard down.

"This is me you're talking to. You don't have to put on a front." Michelle was starting to feel like a broken record. She was beginning to worry whether she would ever get through to Carla that she deserved to be happy. "Who is it?" Michelle asked upon hearing a gentle knock on the door.

"Rob."

"We'll be back through in a minute," Michelle replied.

"Amy's wanting a photo with you and Steve."

"Go," Carla sunk back down onto the edge of the bed. "I'll be fine."

"We'll talk after OK?" Michelle squeezed Carla's hand. "Can you stay with her," Michelle asked Rob quietly as she left the room.

"Yeah, of course," he replied before gently closing the door. He looked at Carla sitting on the edge of the bed, her elbows on her knees and her hands tangled in her hair in anguish. He hated to see her like this. But he knew that it would be worse if he was the one in prison. Only he knew how to really take care of his sister. Her waste of space of a husband had caused her nothing but pain. That's what Rob was telling himself anyway.

"You're better off on your own you know," Rob said as he joined her on the bed. "Without that cheating murderer."

"Rob just drop it will you," Carla bit back.

"I'm sorry, I just hate what he's done to you."

"You and me both!" she said angrily, pulling her hands from her hair and looking up at him. "But I'm trying to move on with my life and you constantly bringing him up really isn't helping!"

"I'm sorry, I can't help it. I just want to protect you."

"I know, and you've never been good at letting things go, I should know that by now. But please stop mentioning him."

"I'll try my best," Rob nodded.

"Now why doesn't that fill me with confidence?" Carla shook her head.

"What?" Rob asked as a strange expression crossed her face.

"Give me your hand."

"Why?"

"Just give it here," she rolled her eyes and took hold of his hand and placed it against her stomach. She smiled as his eyes widened and he looked in awe at her.

"Wow," Rob felt the movement of Carla's baby beneath his hand.

She smiled at his expression.

"Does it hurt?"

"It's not comfortable but no it doesn't hurt. And you know what, that is its way of telling its Uncle Rob to back off."

"Hey, its Uncle Rob and Auntie Tracy are here to keep it safe."

"God help it!"

"Charming. She has a good heart does my Trace."

"Whatever you say little brother," Carla playfully nudged him sideways.

"You know you should really find out the sex of the baby, this whole it thing is just weird."

"I've got the 6 month scan next Wednesday, maybe I'll ask then."

"Do you want company?"

"Chelle's coming with me, thanks though."

"You know I'm here, for anything."

Carla looked at him and nodded before leaning into him. Rob wrapped his arm around her shoulder and kissed the top of her head lovingly.

"I'll keep you both safe, I promise," Rob reassured her. _"Safer than he ever could."_


End file.
